Sometimes, I’m a Hypocrite
It’s an interesting thing… I am all about the free child, that children should be experiencing joy, acting like kids and leading their own authentic learning however, as a school teacher I often do not practice what I preach.
Don’t get me wrong this is absolutely how I parent my own daughter.
She is 5 years old and I have never sat her down to work on letters or numbers. I have never tried to impose learning on her or squelch her joy. I encourage her to have fun, make noise, be silly and play all the time. I plan for this to always be what our homeschool journey looks like.
Uncomfortable When…
Yet, in school as a teacher of third graders I find myself getting uncomfortable when the noise level goes up, when the kids are not sitting, when they do not seem to be grasping the concepts I am teaching. I am trying to figure out why I have such a hard time staying true to my values in the classroom.
For many years now, my students have started each morning with yoga outside whenever possible. I give them 30 extra minutes of recess per day. I take them to the STEAM lab once a week and never direct what they create. I teach in small group and try to customize the curriculum to fit their needs. I tell them I do not expect them to walk in straight, silent lines down the halls. I let them read anywhere in the room so they don’t have to stay seated at a desk. In all of these ways I am trying my best to give them more fun, movement, and time to be a kid in their school day.
However, like I mentioned before, I also quiet them quite a bit. Get annoyed when they are not sitting still as I teach, feel frustration when they aren’t getting what I am teaching. I find myself feeling a little hot under the collar when a teacher walks by my class in the hall and they aren’t in quiet lines like everyone else’s classes.
I want to explore why I can’t fully embrace my vision for what learning should be. Here are the layers I feel I am fighting against:
Peer Pressure: It is difficult to go against the grain even when you believe you are right. It is hard to ignore the implications.
Default Setting: I was raised in the institution of school and trained at a college that upholds that institution. My rational mind knows what I believe but we often default to what our life experience tells us is normal.
Group Size: It is easy to allow my one child to run amuck and appreciate her as wild and free but with 20 kids it feels way more chaotic. When 20 kids are out of their seats, spinning , rocking, fidgeting, and all talking at once it is much louder and more disruptive.
Space: When the kids are confined to one room that disruption is also much more evident than when kids are outdoors.
Can the institution of school ever create a learning environment conducive to a free childhood? One full of joy, laughter, play and exploration? I have strong doubts as someone who has worked in the institution for nearly two decades but, I would love to hear the ideas of someone who believes it can.